Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words. ~George Elliott

I love this description of friendship. And I’m sure most of us can attest to it being a true-ism. After all, just think about your friendships and your childhood BFFs. When we were young, we were really only supposed to have one best friend. Yet, as we grow up and mature, we realize no woman should ever have just one of anything. But seriously, if we are going to be happy, healthy, and whole women; we must learn to keep our friendships going even as we tend to our other relationships and activities. That is, we must maintain great friendships with other women even when our romantic lives, families, and jobs seem all-consuming. How so? Well, here are three things we must do if we are to keep our friendships going:

We must create friendships out of mutual respect for our commonalities and differences. Sure when we’re children, we love having a friendship that allows us to have an identical twin. We want to dress alike, look alike, sound alike, and do everything together. But as adult women, we learn to value our uniqueness. We relish having rare outfits no other woman has in her closet. We get annoyed by friends who are prone to copycat behavior. And we are easily exhausted by moving in girl-packs. So to find balance, we seek out nuanced friendships that are sprinkled with a little bit of commonness and a little bit of differentness.

We must let friendships grow together and apart without them necessarily ending. Adult women know time is precious, so our sense of maturity moves us to be less fickle about whether we talk to or see our BFFs every day. In fact, we treasure those friendships that let us pick up where we left off without the risk of being interrogated or ignored because somehow our loyalty is being questioned. So friendships providing mutual flexibility of thought and time are critical for our time-pressed lives.

We must be present for the good, the bad, and the ugly. No doubt, if we surveyed every woman whose path we crossed in just one day, we’d probably find the majority believe the ideal friendship is there when you need it and even when you don’t. For some, this sense of needing to be present may feel like a contradiction to the previous point. It is not. Adult women know to be present without being seen really means to be available. So when we build friendships anchored in the presentation of availability (i.e., I’m here for you girl...), we feel confident that we are never alone as we navigate through the good, bad, and ugly things we face in life.

The bottom-line is our friendships with other women really do have a way of keep us going. When we put time into them, we are able to nurture and maintain bonds that extend across the changes we face in life. Time-in—whether by a phone call, email, card, or a night on the town—allows us to celebrate each others gains and wipe the tears away when we go through losses. Therefore, by keep our friendships going; we really can be healthy, happy, and whole women.

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dr. terri is an educator, empowerment writer, and entrepreneur,

who provides education planning, writing guidance, and life-mapping services to the sisterhood and those they love.

To learn more about her services, visit www.withdrterri.com. For the online women's center, visit www.stillsosexy.com.