Kissing: It's Not Just for Mistletoe & Hearts

by dr. terri

Did you know today is World Kiss Day? If not, no worries. Most people had no idea of the holiday either. But isn't it interesting how we have become a holiday craze society? We wait for special occasions just so we can behave like thus and so. Take for instance the longstanding tradition of kissing underneath the mistletoe for those who celebrate Christmas; or the declaration of love and the exchange of hearts for those who celebrate Valentine's Day.

It seems as if besides the wedding kiss ritual, kissing underneath the mistletoe or declaring love for your Valentine, are the last remaining official symbols of acceptable PDA (public display of affection) in our society. Yet, who among us can find a good piece of mistletoe after the Christmas season? And who among us has time to daydream and draw hearts on paper napkins as we hope and pray for a kiss sent by Cupid? But look, why wait for special occasions to experience the playful and passionate feelings that come with a good, spine-tingling, flat-footed kiss? Well, quite frankly, we don't have to wait. We can learn to keep right on kissing all year round.

For many people, kissing is a lost art form. We get so comfortable with our mates that we dismiss it as something we either did when we first met or something we must do merely to say hello and goodbye. But a kiss is so much more than a whimsical experience or a begrudged chore. To kiss is to express desire. It is part of the language of love that tells our mates we want them and we want them to want us too. Sure kissing is a part of the sexual experience but the beauty of kissing is that it can stand on its own—with or without sexual intercourse—and still leave us with our toes curled.

Now most of you are probably saying your toes haven’t curled in so long that you’re not even sure they can do it anymore. Not so. Learning to kiss again does take practice—preferably on another human being and not the inanimate objects we used in our childhood days. So if your mate is willing to engage in regular practice sessions, you’ll be back in the saddle in no time. And that old orbicularis oris (your mouth’s pucker up muscle) will be back in action. But just in case you’re still not convinced you can make a kissing comeback, here are four helpful tips to get you going again:

1. Take your time. Good flat-footed kissing isn’t a sprint. It’s a marathon. To rush a kiss is like rushing sexual intercourse and we all know that experience is never fulfilling for “women of a certain age.”

2. Mind what you eat. Fruits, mints, and chocolate have a way of awakening your taste buds. Fruits can heighten your sense of taste making a kiss oh so sweet. Mints give a tingle to the lips that bring a bit of a tingle to the hips. And chocolate? Well, who can ever get enough of it?

3. Explore before you soar. Don’t be afraid to get to know the lips of your mate before going for the deep passionate kisses. After all, pecks and puckers are like good foreplay, so stay there for a bit before you go straight for the French gusto.

4. Play with it, rock with it. Getting to know your mate’s lips and tongue, as well as other parts of his face (i.e., cheeks, eyes, nose, forehead, and even his ears) through playful kissing is a great way to have small talk as you find hot spots that make both of you curl those toes.

So remember, there is no need to wait for Christmas mistletoe and Cupid hearts--or even World Kiss Day. We can learn to keep right on kissing all year round. Before long you will experience the playful and passionate feelings that go way beyond the traditions and special occasions. Now go pucker up and enjoy! Stay + y'all...

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dr. terri is an educator, empowerment writer, and entrepreneur,

who provides education planning, writing guidance, and life-mapping services to the sisterhood and those they love.

To learn more about her services, visit www.withdrterri.com. For the online women's center, visit www.stillsosexy.com.